The Attitudes That Hold Students Back:

Lessons from 23 Years of Teaching English

After more than two decades teaching English and working with thousands of learners, I’ve seen just about every kind of learning journey you can imagine. I’ve watched total beginners slowly grow into confident, fluent speakers—people who now use English so naturally you’d never guess they once struggled with it. And I’ve also seen students stall out. Not because they weren’t smart or motivated, but because of something trickier to pinpoint: the beliefs and attitudes that hold them back.

This all came to mind again recently during a chat with some teachers in my How Languages Are Learned course. We’d just finished Chapter 3, the one that dives into how individual differences impact second language learning. As we shared stories, it became clear how often the biggest obstacles are internal. Students who seem to have everything going for them sometimes stall simply because of the way they see themselves, their progress, or the process itself.

And honestly, it’s tough to watch. You can see the potential right there, but somehow it doesn’t quite take off. Over time, I’ve started recognizing certain mindsets that show up over and over again. They don’t always look like a problem at first. But they quietly get in the way.

Here are ten that come up a lot. If any of these sound familiar, you’re definitely not alone. But they’re worth paying attention to.

1. Waiting for the “Perfect Time” to Start or Really Commit
“I’ll really focus on English when life settles down.” You’ve probably heard this one too. The reality is, life rarely slows down. Progress usually comes when students show up consistently—even when conditions aren’t ideal.

2. Fear of Making Mistakes
A classic. Some learners stay quiet until they feel totally ready. But we know fluency grows out of trial, error, and a bit of linguistic messiness. No mistakes, no progress.

3. Getting Stuck on Grammar Rules
Grammar’s useful, sure. But I’ve seen students who can explain the difference between the Present Perfect and Pas Simple and still freeze up in a real conversation. Knowing the rules isn’t the same as being able to use them spontaneously.

4. Comparing Themselves to Others
It’s tempting, right? Students see someone else speaking more fluently or picking things up faster and immediately doubt themselves. But learning isn’t linear, and comparison rarely helps—it usually just undermines confidence.

5. Passive Learning Habits
Some students believe just showing up is enough. Or they watch English shows and hope that’ll do it. But real progress takes active engagement—questioning, trying, failing, adjusting.

6. Expecting the Teacher to Do All the Work
I wish I could make them fluent. But language learning doesn’t work that way. We can guide, scaffold, and cheer them on, but they have to do the actual work of learning.

7. Getting Impatient or Chasing Quick Fixes
You’ve seen this too—students switching apps, courses, or strategies every few weeks, hoping something will suddenly “work.” But language learning is slow, and sometimes repetitive. The key is sticking with it even when it’s frustrating.

8. Avoiding Discomfort
Many learners play it safe. They avoid speaking in front of others or shy away from group work. But growth almost always requires a bit of discomfort. The safe route tends to lead to stagnation.

9. Treating English Like a School Subject
When English only lives inside a coursebook or a classroom, it becomes a task to complete. But when it seeps into their playlists, their thoughts, their everyday routines—that’s when it starts to click and stick.

10. Giving Up Too Early
This one always stings. A student hits a plateau or has a rough week and suddenly decides they’re “just not good at languages.” But we know the path to fluency is full of stops and starts. The learners who make it are usually the ones who don’t give up.

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One Last Thing
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that success in language learning isn’t about talent or perfect conditions. It’s about consistency. It’s about learners who keep showing up, who make peace with mistakes, and who take ownership of their growth.

So when you see a student getting stuck, it’s worth asking: is it the content that’s the problem—or is it their mindset?

And maybe the same goes for us too. Our beliefs about teaching, about what progress should look like, about what learners “should” be doing—those can get in our way as well.

What about you? Have you noticed certain attitudes or beliefs that tend to hold students back?

Keep learning, keep growing—and thanks for letting me be part of your journey!